1. The Emir of Kano, Alhaji Ado Bayero, surprised the nation on Children’s day when he announced a nation-wide kids’ storybook writing competition. The emirate is calling on aspiring authors to submit their entries for a kids’ story book titled ‘Sambo, the Latecomer.’ The spokesman of the emirate has strongly denied claims that the book title was chosen to shame Vice President Sambo who arrived four hours late for a meeting with the emir last week. He claimed that the only interest of the emir was to encourage writers to write books that would give readers of all ages, “thought for food.” The winner of the competition will receive a free copy of the book –‘Time Power’ by Brian Tracy.
2. In the build-up to the 2011 elections, Nigerian youths organized a presidential debate tagged: “Legislators dey chop, D’banj dey chop, what about us?” The president chose then not to debate, but it seems he caught the bait, as he hosted ‘youth leaders’ to a pre-inauguration lunch last week. After the lunch, ‘transport fare’ ranging from N50thousand to N150thousand was given to the visiting youth leaders. The president’s strategist, Mr Oronto Douglas defended the extravaganza. He said: “...considering the severity of the traffic jam expected to follow the president’s presence at the lunch, the youth leaders deserved a private chopper ride home.” Meanwhile, one of the youth leaders and speaker at the event, Mr Chude Jideonwo –who conveniently failed to mention anything about the event to the youth followers he represents –posted a facebook update saying, “I thank God for the grace to speak truth to power and still be paid mega-fully for it.”
3. Annoyed by the over N1billion earmarked as expenses for President Jonathan’s inauguration, a group of hackers shut down the NDDC website, threatening to do worse if the “waste” continued. The group released an online statement saying, “WeNaijaCyberHactivists are therefore joining voice with other well-meaning Nigerians and we say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.” An activist, Barr. Old News however dismissed the hackers in a telephone chat with A Pinch of Salt, saying “The ones chopping lunch now, is that not how they started? Enough is Enough ko, Enough is Enough ni! Abeg let me hear word jor.” Then he hung up. Efforts to get a reaction from Aso rock failed, but considering the inauguration expenses, they probably do not give a hoot.
4. A fight broke out last week between Lola Shoneyin (author of the well received Baba Segi’s wives)/Eghosa Imasuen (author of To Saint Patrick) in the blue corner and Dr. Seyi Adigun (ANA Abuja president)/Ikechukwu Okeke (ANA Abuja PRO) in the red corner. The bone of contention was the Abuja launch (not lunch oh) of President Jonathan’s Bring Back the Book Campaign. Ikechukwu Okeke drew first blood by accusing Lola (who was a consultant to the FCT administration for the launch) of three things –shaming Abuja authors at the event by not properly recognizing them so students could clap clap clap for them; elevating Nollywood over Abuja’s Bookyworld and importing mercenaries like Eghosa Imasuen from Benin to come and read for the kids in their Abuja home zone. Lola fired back, describing the man’s grammar as terrible and arguing that ANA lacked understanding of what they are supposed to do, talk less of what her role as consultant was. Eghosa supported her by hollering “Gboyah!” Dr Adigun said Lola did not try and should be called to order, while Lola told him “same to you.” Meanwhile the Nigerian Guild of Readers, Writers and Fight Spectators has called on the FG to immediately constitute a 23-man panel to look into the immediate and remote cause of the brouhaha and submit the findings so that a new committee can draft a white paper on it.
CLOWN OF THE WEEK: The crowned clown for this week is Nigeria’s ambassador to Kenya, Chijioke Wigwe who is accused of bruising and battering his official wife. Despite picture evidence that shows the brutality of this diplomatic pugilist, the man continues to deny it, saying, “I know she wants money which unfortunately I don’t have; I am just a humble civil servant.” In another breath, the humble civil servant accused her of “breaking into his bedroom and taking away some of his Rolex watches.” I wonder how many humble civil servants have Rolex watches stashed in their bedrooms. Pinhead!
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