LAST WEEK IN THE NEWS (with a pinch of salt)3

• The Nigeria Labour Congress (NLC) has threatened to embark on an indefinite strike if the Federal government doesn’t immediately declare a new minimum age for the nation. The NLC said this has become necessary due to the alarming number of old men claiming to be youths these days. In a press release, the NLC president said, “In recent times, we have seen men like Nuhu Ribadu and Dele Momodu, both aged 51, claim to be youths. Now President Jonathan has appointed a 50year old man as the secretary to the government of the federation, and they are calling him a youth. The average Nigerian’s life expectancy is 48.4years. If we call a 50year old a youth, it means there are no old men left in this country. That’s nonsense; we must have a defined minimum age in order to progress.” It will be recalled that Nigeria is a signatory to the African Youth Charter which defines a youth as any person between the ages of 15 and 35.

• An innovative recruitment drive has been launched by the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP). According to online news outlet, Kalahari reporters, top PDP members have been given targets to each get at least one leading opposition figure to come under the party umbrella. The president himself was asked to get Bola Tinubu; Gov. Babaginda Aliyu of Niger State is to get Nassarawa state CPC governor Alhaji Tanko Almakura; while Senate president David Mark was given the Muhammad Buhari account. Meanwhile, a PDP stalwart has defended the party’s decision to give the ‘Buhari target’ to David Mark instead of Vice-president Namadi Sambo. According to him, “We had to be realistic in order to avoid a situation where it is the VP himself who gets converted. You know he could not deliver his own polling booth in the last elections; is that the person you think can convince a man like Buhari?”

• The Freedom of Information Bill has finally become law in Nigeria and already, the ripples are being felt. An activist, Comrade Vengeance Greene is invoking his rights under the law to know who actually moved the motion in the 1950s for Nigeria’s independence. There has been controversy in recent times over who (among Anthony Enahoro, Remilekun Fani-Kayode, S.L Akintola and Tafawa Balewa) moved the motion. Comrade Greene has written to Hansard (the official transcripts of proceedings in the British parliament since the 19^th century) as well as the Department of Nigerian archives, demanding to see the records. When pressed on why he needed the information, Comrade Greene contended that “we need to know which of those men is responsible for the sufferings of Nigerians. Can you imagine where we would have been today if the British hadn’t left? That motion chased them away. The children of that person must be made to pay –no member of such a family must hold public office in this country again. Ever!”

In a related development, students of one of Nigeria’s tertiary institutions (name withheld) have written to their lecturers to release to them the questions for their forthcoming exams. The school authorities have asked for more time to respond.

• British magazine, The Economist published an article (Hail The Useful Chief) about President Jonathan on May 26^th, in which it said this: “When The Economist requested an interview with the president, we were asked whether we would contribute to his election campaign –or whether the president will pay us.” Following that report, A Pinch of Salt launched an investigation into what –if anything –did Nigerian magazine, Thisday Style pay to have that 2-day interview and breathtaking photo-shoot of first lady Dame Patience Jonathan which appeared in its May 29 Special Inauguration Edition. Our findings reveal that Thisday Style was asked to ensure two things. First, that they photoshop the first lady till she was creamer and finer than Mitchelle Obama and then, that they perform a miracle –publish an 8-page interview/photo splash in which the first lady doesn’t make one grammatical gbagaun. And they did.

• After being messilessly walloped by the Super Eagles of Nigeria in an international friendly played in Abuja, the Argentine soccer team has petitioned FIFA for a rematch. According to Argentine coach Sergio Batista, the previous five meetings between the teams had the Argentines on top with an aggregate score of 4-1 which Nigeria cancelled in this one match, making them even. He therefore called for a one match decider that will crown the better team once and for all. The Nigerian FA has said that “it doesn’t respond to sore losers.”

CROWNED CLOWN (CEE-CEE) OF THE WEEK: The Cee-Cee goes to Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad who accused Europe of keeping rain away from Iran. What a schlep! Here’s what he had to say: “They are emptying the clouds so that they will not move our way. This is a premeditated event. We will not permit such a disgraceful thing to take place.” Really, I don’t blame the guy; it’s the dehydration.

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UNIben disUNIted

Even now, a casual observer walking within the school walls wouldn’t think anything was wrong. The hostels are still rowdy, lecture theatres are still packed full and the school’s famed social life is booming as always. But all is not well in the University of Benin, Nigeria, for beneath the semblance of normalcy is a riveting political battle as fierce and intense as it is shocking. And it all began the day Prof. Emmanuel Nwanze, the immediate past vice-chancellor, retired or possibly a short while before that.

Prof. Nwanze’s five year tenure ended on February 9th and as directed by the then minister of education, Dr. Igwe Aja-Nwachukwu, he handed over the reins to the deputy vice-chancellor (admin), Prof(Mrs.) Uche Gbenedio albeit in acting capacity. The move was in line with convention in federal universities in the last one year, where in the absence of a governing council, the federal government appoints an acting vice-chancellor. In all the cases that this has happened, the deputy vice-chancellor in charge of administration was appointed and in all the cases, it wasn’t a problem – until UNIBEN. Opposition to Prof. Gbenedio’s appointment was swift and emphatic and it came from two fronts – the legal and the ludicrous.

Let’s start with the ludicrous. Certain folks reasoned that since the outgoing VC was a Delta Igbo, it was sacrilegious for another Igbo -Mrs. Gbenedio- to serve as acting VC. Leading this school of thought were ethnic champions like the Benin Forum, Edo Citizens Forum and the Concerned Edo Citizens. This tribal argument obviously makes no sense but is symptomatic of the general Nigerian disease where in the words of renowned journalist and publisher of Ovation magazine, we “continue to stick to our primordial systems of zoning and federal character. And continue to treat fellow citizens as foreigners in their own country.” I couldn’t agree more. For one, Uniben is a federal institution and by law is not bound by their sentiments. But even more importantly, it is a university – one of Nigeria’s finest. Universities are supposed to be champions of meritocracy, excellence and sound work ethics. A hodge-podge of the best and brightest minds a nation has to offer. That a group of local champions most of whom have no affiliation at all with the institution apart from geography would champion such a selfish and myopic cause is truly disheartening. The fact that these same kinds would leap for joy that a Kenyan black duly occupies the white house says a lot about the hypocrisy of man.

The legal angle was introduced by a faction of the university’s ASUU branch led by Dr. Ilevbare whose grouse was that the appointment did not follow due process because Prof. Gbenedio’s tenure as deputy vice chancellor had expired as at the time of her elevation making her ineligible to be selected as acting VC. At the beginning, it seemed like they wouldn’t be having their way because the new governing council –inaugurated in March- was only interested in filling the vacant position of substantive VC, even requesting for applications from suitably qualified and interested candidates. At that time the governing council didn’t seem to have a problem with the acting VC. Not until they too ‘realized’ some weeks later that her appointment did not follow ‘due process’ (that word again). The council led by the new chairman Prof. Mmuendaga Jibo therefore mandated the university senate to conduct a proper election, effectively overruling the visitor to the university, President Yar’adua, on whose behalf the former minister had appointed Prof. Gbenedio. Battling desperately to save her job, Prof. Gbenedio went to the courts and obtained an order restraining any one from removing her as acting VC. But the governing council and senate-eternal champions of due process- ignored the courts, went ahead and elected a new acting vice chancellor in the person of Prof. Emmanuel Kubenje, the provost of the college of medical sciences. Not done yet, they punished Mrs. Gbenedio by suspending her from all the university’s activities and placed her effectively on half salary for daring to take the school to court without giving the school community the mandatory 30 days notice prescribed by the school rules.

Needless to say, this is a needless battle. Honestly, I am amazed at the amount of fuss and controversy the issue of who becomes ‘acting’ vice chancellor is generating. I would have expected that the governing council of the university be more interested in immediately ensuring the emergence -- by due process of course -- of a substantive vice chancellor so that the business of running the institution is unhindered. Also, the measure meted out to Prof. Gbenedio is too severe. She isn’t just some opportunistic school teacher. She was the first vice chancellor of Benson Idahosa University and until her elevation and demotion, was the deputy vice chancellor of UNIBEN. If this is about due process, then she must be given her due.

One of the most brandished achievements of the former VC was that the school ran an uninterrupted calendar for 5 years (the first time that has ever happened). This feat was as much his doing as it was the students’ and for now, the students are surprisingly quiet. That’s a good sign. The students’ union government recently released a circular, stating its neutrality in the whole affair and its ready disposition to accept any one who emerges as the VC. That’s also a good sign. How long the students maintain this level of maturity is another matter. Fingers are crossed but ears can still hear the rumblings in the cloud, senses can feel the disunity in the land. And that’s never a good sign.