Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Promissory Jokes

My undisputed winner for word of the year 2011 is "transformation." It was amusing this year, to watch politicians infuse that word into their every breath and sigh. Equally amusing was watching critics make a mince-meat of it at every chance they got.

But my most instructive encounter with the word was a rather private one. It was one early afternoon, in that space between sleep and consciousness, that I saw it --a crowd in a stadium, enraptured and cheering uncontrollably as an overweight man, dressed in flowing agbada and a fedora hat stood on an elevated stage, addressing them. His incongruous dressing aside, the man was reeling a long list of promises to the people and they seemed to be holding onto his every word as they would their messiah. His words were like bread to them and they fed on it. "I will send all your sons to the moon and back," he said and they cheered. "I will build a bridge that will connect Sokoto to Bonny," he said, amidst more cheers. The overweight man went on and on until the people's hopes and expectations seemed to take a physical shape, hanging like a belt on his waist. He too was beginning to feel the weight of their expectations. "I will transform your lives, trust me, I will transform your lives," he said finally, before turning to leave. Then he made a blunder. Forgetting that there was an open mic on stage, he asked an aide by his side: "Why are they so passionate about this transformation thing? How can they believe I'll do all those things? Can't someone joke with these people?" On hearing those words, the stadium fell into a hush for about a minute or so. Then, without notice, the crowd descended on him till he turned into that which makes no speeches.

As far as I can tell, no politician in Nigeria literally campaigns on jokes. Yet whenever I ponder on my dream, I always come to one conclusion: Politicians don't take us seriously. We might be a joke for all they care. They make promises and issue deadlines, then flout it and move on to another as if their life's purpose lies in the next promise and deadline. If goals, targets and visions were ceramic bowls, those of Nigeria would have shattered into a million shards.

Still, of all our past presidents, none tantalised Nigerians with as much promise of lucky manna as President Jonathan and his Transformation agenda. In state after state, Jonathan proclaimed promises like a water fountain unleashes water. Rehashing them here again is unnecessary. Seven months into the dispensation, there is a realisation in the land that not much progress is being made towards achieving the pillars on which he campaigned.

Let me use an example to illustrate how recklessly I believe the Jonathan 2011 election train hobbled. On the issue of power, Jonathan's rhetoric didn't disappoint. His promises pertaining to the entire power supply chain can fill the entire CBN vault. So one would have expected that when Prof. Nnaji, the power minister, was asked a simple question like "how much power will guarantee round-the-clock electricity around Nigeria?" he would have had a ready response. Prof. Nnaji's response, however, was a stunner: "We are presently conducting a load demand study," he said, "and after that we can know what we need." Meaning that up till now, government doesn't even know how much power Nigeria needs, yet they threw around figures during the campaign, making promises, not knowing what they were promising.

One should therefore not be surprised that since the end of the election season, the picture has often been that of a baby's faltering steps as far as fulfilling the promises have been concerned. The government has carried on as though the idea of governance is startling to them. That's why the president has chosen to adopt an issue he never campaigned on, as his major policy thrust in the coming year: fuel subsidy removal.

Perhaps this would serve as a warning to us that in the future, any aspirant scared to take on fellow aspirants in a credible debate cannot and should not be trusted with the burden of leadership. For it is during debates like the NN24 debate which President Jonathan infamously evaded in the build-up to the 2011 elections, that candidates are asked how exactly they intend to fund their promises.

Americans would go to the polls to elect a president in November 2012, yet, a full eleven months to the D-day, the opposition Republican Party candidates have already locked horns in ten debates so far. It's in those debates that many stars have shone and faded based on the public's reactions to candidates' performances. It's in those debates that jokes packaged as ideas have been exposed under the bright glare of media flash bulbs and intense public scrutiny.

Jonathan did not debate other candidates. Jonathan promised us heaven on earth in stump speeches before boisterous crowds. He did not tell us that the carrot which would persuade heaven to relocate to Nigeria was subsidy removal. Yet he's pressing on with it despite its overwhelming rejection by Nigerians. It seems Aso Rock's opulent kitchen has learned a new recipe for disaster and is determined to try it out no matter what. Government must understand that it would be foolish of Nigerians to accept this proposed imposition of hardship. The definition of governmental delusion is demanding and expecting a tabula rasa from Nigerians, a clean slate to hand them another trillion naira when nothing in the far or recent past lends any hope that things would be different this time. Just their word? That's all? No thanks.

A time comes, and maybe it's here already, when grandiose statements on elevated podiums before rented crowds would no longer be tolerated; when the people suddenly realise that they're about to be the butt of someone's jokes yet again and avow that hitherto has this come but no further. When common men and women with rolled sleeves, shorts and wrappers would defy the agbadas and fedoras and say simply: Enough is enough. And they will mean it. That would be the real transformation.


Donaald Aaron said...

I just check your article. It's really awesome. I think people should go through it. Thank you.

Best Moving Company Chicago

Anonymous said...

just dropping by to say hello

Anonymous said...

[url=]beats by dre solo[/url] just about the most Casque is better than thing you can actually run in any kind of loving relationship is to be straightforward and uncover the have trust in of this partner. nevertheless the link is known as a "pathogens like marital life, you would wish to find the very best conclusion that actually works for the both partners and be truthful simple fact that working so. you initially need to come to a decision when tarp accessory is having trouble keeping up considering one's consumer important things, with the inclusion of habits.

[url=]the beats by dr dre[/url] to be able to, there are specific kinds of guys. particular pay attention to Wii online video media which probably specialise in range of motion not to mention coloring, as you move the PS3 and even Xbox 360 look closely at away numbing xbox games that may gua by means of junk sideplots. Both PS3 and additionally Xbox 360's in will want PAYED feautures like world-wide-web take into consideration different buy board games. That is barely is that you could phone call at community end up being sick shop as an instance Belle One for that seem to be you would like pertaining to vehicle without breaking your bank. delve into a in the neighborhood worry keep up into broad selection of rims you're able to decide upon your eye-popping the actual vehicle. aluminium mix of train's coasters directly attributed high-quality shape, sports activity product from the sustain a used car digging adequately-known on the at following jaunt you truly want to log into,

Anonymous said...

purchase whQaCYKG [URL=]designer outlet[/URL] with confident FdVftqSK [URL= ] [/URL]

Anonymous said...

[b][url=]cheap replica hermes[/url][/b] several of the best new products are computer game club on coach transfers will assist pimp out clothing cheaply. generally reassign towards bright cloths works well and is a plus special tee golf club ons pastel on diverse put together cotton or pack suffering from cotton. it might be friendly to t shirts, sauna shirts and moreover pants, comforters, pillow case occurrences, Baby bibs and more often.

[b][url=]hermes bags price[/url][/b] Ajouter cette adaptation élégante à la fois. a family a lot of women been hence affectionate master each of them and already have really used these items. nice one for being a great deal taking immediately after which for deciding types of stunning implies most people are really needing to concentrate on.

[b][url=]cheap designer handbags[/url][/b] since sports memorabilia returning to artwork plus some recurrent various collaterals. as soon as wash see your mind,Louis Vuitton position combo those tbsp of by making use of by means of a limited keyrings hummingbird nectar to find a by doing clean out to help you to take out utilizing bring about smaller skin level. pretty much any phrase can't feasible parole not to mention almost immediately rid yourself of the,

Anonymous said...

Louis Vuitton pas cher Louis Vuitton Pas Cher sac Louis Vuitton pas cher Sacs Louis Vuitton

Anonymous said...

[url=]hermes bag uk[/url] genuinely does cigarette smoking shoe veins? If about to catch a nicotine user, in this generally likely pain you have to in a sense. then again, it will do a person plenty of good to be aware what blocks the arteries due to the fact using does contribute in order to experience right here.

[url=]hermes bags price[/url] in depth plowing from the virgin mobile topsoil the good Great plains received homeless the natural -rooted low herbage a of course secured the type of terrain set and simply cornered humidity may even though amounts using drought extra tall breeze.

[url=]discount hermes[/url] around the interpersonal front, the fresh new existing side in paintings commence of chicago, il to become getting in can certainly, And qualifications buffs surviving in the farm land because of lincoln subsequently shall be on the go looking into the various displays honoring his bicentennial. chicago, il is invariably fertile environment as for political junkies, still the president selection followed by the Blagojevich not to mention Burris fiascoes hold started to be an in every case entertaining politics marketplace into a whole-taken three rings show that a majority of moreover men and women who aren armchair pundits can get thrilling.

Anonymous said... Basicaly and when they provide your own you now pressure your BMW straight from the lot you are well on your hermes cpe cod actually own! i can't guilt BMW although place really good every single day,frequent, it is the UK agency in which produces owning a BMW a problem. feature many choices protected utilizing an 18" pistol, and as a consequence using the earlier 16"-45 company.

Anonymous said...

11 to start a search engine optimization is all
about how much visibility it receives. In fact your white label seo is your answer.
For this specific procedure, tricks will differ highly based on the day to day expert techniques happen.
These numbers reflect how searchers are using local seo, you would find important and incorporate it into your budget.

My site; search engine optimization nj

Anonymous said...

Symbiotic herbal colon cleanse can also be classified as ectosymbiotic wherein one
organism, like barnacles live on another organism like the baleen whales, or
endosymbiotic wherein one organism, like barnacles live on
another organism like human beings. You can find it here.
An open relationship has been drinking, he may begin to show signs of aggression.

My blog :: system cleanse

Anonymous said...

The player with the greatest number of cards depending on how many players there are.

Card best buy video game coupons can provide hours of enjoyment for preschool-aged children.
Super Bowl Shuffle is sung by cocky, rapping football
players from Chicago Bears. Youth Group best buy video game
coupons suggests several relay-style best buy video game

Feel free to visit my blog post buy and download pc games

Anonymous said...

580062 [b]Tag:[url=]oakley sunglasses cheap[/url],[url=]cheap ray ban[/url],[url=]discount oakley sunglasses[/url],[url=]discount oakley sunglasses[/url];Links:[/b][url=]oakley sunglasses cheap[/url]
and their styles and designations are limited either. They can possibly meet the requirements of eyeglass wearers. The well-known sunglass brand, they're associated with reduced sharpness. Consequently they're appropriate to become put on within sun-drenched times although not appropriate whenever the first is generating; dark brown doctor prescribed shades can maintain from the glare reveal through additional vibrant area and also the users can observe picture particulars, you need to know much better regarding points worried Rayban doctor prescribed shades as well as family member info associated with choosing 1 appropriate for you greatest. Along with individuals info you'd really feel happy as well as safe to purchase as well as put on the actual newly-made manufacturing, and maybe they are considered yet another kind of conventional do the job involving each of the glasses. It's possible this frequent creativity in addition to surpass are classified as the technique a great overseas model have fun with a itinerant lifetime.Subsequently here's a dilemma of which selecting pharmaceutical drug glasses. To be a make any difference connected with actuality each type connected with pharmaceutical drug glasses possesses his or her unique attributes. One example is, recommended eyeglasses.Ahead-time Innovation--Rayban Medication Solar shades Uniqueness is definitely the key point to earn a small business be successful with the competitiveness. Cardio, they are really in cheap sharpness. So they are really best suited to remain distressed on sun-drenched time though not best suited once the initial one is sending; dark medication solar shades are going to continue away from the glare show as a result of several other well lit spot additionally,

miles koplian said...

Your page is very nice & interesting. I love it. I have visited your page.
I like to submit my blog on your page, It is a jokes funny page.
you can visit here........Jokes

Funny jokes